In doing some interesting reading and research I thought I would share with you some interesting information on how to spot a liar.
First, let’s dispel some myths.
Many people believe that if someone crosses their arms or has a closed posture that this means they are lying. Here are a few more...
Excessive touching of the face.
Increased blood flow to the face.
Incongruities between body language and speech content.
They can’t look you in eye.
NLP fans believe that someone is lying if they look to the right.
These are just a sample of “indicators” I was able to come up with just by searchong the internet.
Well, I am sorry to say that they are all misguided and incorrect.
So, is it impossible to tell if someone is lying to you?
According to the research, it really is impossible if you are focusing on visual cues. Looking for visual cues, it turns out, is absolutely the most unreliable way to spot a liar. This was demonstrated by research done across the globe by a psychologist from TCU, Dr. Charles Bond. Turns out that it was the myths above that actually prevented subjects from spotting a lie.*
However, there is hope. It turns out the best way to spot a lie is to use your ears. It is all about what a person says and how they say it.
In fact, it has been demonstrated by Richard Wiseman Ph.D. (a pretty famous researcher and author) that people without deception training are much better at detecting deception when listening to a tape recording of a liar than when watching a video. So even without training, your unconscious mind is able to do a half way decent job of detecting a lie if you don’t focus on visual cues. However, with training, your odds are going to go way up.
So how can you tell is someone is not telling the truth? Here are four easy ways to spot a lie:
1. Liars tend to say less. The more someone says, the more likely it is that some of those words are going to haunt them. Lies will have far less detail (in other words, they will be more general).
2. Liars also tend to distance themselves from their lies. They will include fewer references to themselves and won’t use a lot of words indicating feelings. The use of the word, “I” will be less prevalent.
3. Liars never forget. For some reason liars forget that most people forget things so they will never admit they don’t remember a certain aspect of their story. Somehow the lie creates a super human memory - which of course they are inventing.
4. A person will also have more pauses and hesitation when they are lying. It takes energy and thought to lie, this leads to little “thinking” pauses.
And there you have it. Just one quick word of causion: BE CAREFUL! Nothing is perfect, these just make it far more likely that you can spot a lie. So please - you should not accuse anyone of anything and no family feuds over this stuff!
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